Good or Evil Coffee
Coffee is such a warm, delicious alternative to hating everybody every morning.
It tastes like hopes and dreams, helps you mimic socially acceptable behavior, and helps you maintain your sunny personality.
On the downside, coffee helps you do stupid things faster with more energy. And sometimes you really have to wonder if the entire planet is shaking, or if it’s just the coffee.
Personally, I could start my day without coffee. But I like remembering how to say words and put on pants. I’m fine once the caffeine kicks in.